Blossoms. That's What You are to Me.

Tonight began a new chapter in my life. Tonight, I met ten preteens and my heart--and mind--are full.

Once a week, I mentor for a young person in Harlem. Where do I begin with this? How do I tell you what it's like to finally, finally leave my comfort zone and to be surrounded with new faces, faces that represent families so different from my own? You look around and realize there's so much about this big old world that you can't possibly imagine. So much that you're forever insulated from;it's just the nature of life. I live mine and you live yours and the two are not necessarily going to intersect. And if even if they do, they're not necessarily going to make any sort of sense to one another. The contexts of our lives are inherently different. That's why what I am doing is simultaneously strange and wonderful.

Not all of them were that well-behaved; in fact, I 'd say that only four out of the ten were able to remain quiet when others were talking. But, when I looked at these kids, decked in clothes ranging from basic to more gangster-ish, I felt hope and happiness. Sort of indescribable, really. The reason that I'm there is to mentor them, to be a sort of guide and role model, to encourage them and show them why school is enjoyable and worthwhile. I intend to. However, I'm most excited at the prospect of digging back the layers, coming to know and care about these individuals who are tucked only 70-odd blocks from me: seeing them for who they are is going to be beautiful.

I don't want to sound like the naive white girl, heart full of dreamy expectations and head muddled by preconceptions of who they are and who I am to them. So, I apologize if I'm coming off that way--that's certainly not at all how I view this position. Instead, I see it for what, at its most basic, it is: people helping people. Or, put another way: I don't see this as about me at all. I don't see this as some way to fulfill myself or to learn about how lucky I am. This isn't some sort of life validation process. This is about them. And I think that's what I find the most refreshing, quite honestly. There is finally one aspect of my life where "I" am completely removed, where all my energy is invested in cultivating someone else. The rest of my life feels like one big trip to making me happy. I think living at college, where the only person I have to look out for is me, exacerbates this. Lately, there's only been a whole lot of "me me me."

Tonight, all I heard was the din of kids laughing.